Grr.. MSN is being stupid and refuses to sign me in. Am I angry, you ask? You bet. I was in the middle of an.. important(??) conversation when it happened. Which, i suppose is where most of the annoyance stems. The fact that I got cut off only adds to the irritation.

I don't like the emotions that are boiling inside me threatening to bubble to the seemingly calm surface. Mostly negative- frustration, annoyance, ingidnation, sadness even.

This is the side that doesn't show itself much. Or maybe I'm just very good at keeping it under control. The more volatile side of me that many people don't see or know about. To be honest, I'm not sure I like this part of me much anyway.

Perhaps writing might have a cathartic effect. Then again, I have a feeling that writing about this would serve nothing more than to make it more complicated than it already is.

With that said, I'm simply going to use this as an outlet for my displeasure. Don't ask me about it because if I meant for you to know, you would. Maybe I'll tell you about it in the future. Maybe when I'm ready. Perhaps when there's time.

A few hours earlier, I took an online quiz because I was feeling bored. At first, I thought the results were off by a mile. Upon some reflection however, I suppose it does describe me a little bit. Funny how I never really realised it. Yes, I am well aware that these online things are like horoscopes- so vague they leave many opportunities for one to identify with them. It is after all just all in the name of fun. Or perhaps my constant search to shed some light on the inner workings of my mind and why I behave and react the way I do to things through whatever available avenue that compels me to do these things, even though my rational mind ridicules them. so anyway, here is what it said:
"In your eyes, people see shards of ice everywhere... You are cold and distant, pushing away people that love you and truely care for you! You want to be able to reach out and love them but... You can't for some reason... You're just too.... You :P Underneath that cold exterior lies a warm, happy soul that wants to let loose and have fun! Your sanctuary would probably be anywhere up high where you can look down on life below you, like the roof of an apartment building... Your eyes resemble a saddened, crestfallen person seeking out attention, but doesn't know how to handle it. However, you do find comfort from your friends, they're always there for you, and they know the REAL you :) Even though you do seem rather cold, you can be very protective over something you truely believe in or love. Let go of that "tough" rep and just be you! It's impossible to live life without some fun and love".