Ever had one of those days where you just feel really shitty and then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, comes along and makes you feel even worse?

And what if that person was supposed to be different from any other stupid person? What if they were someone you considered a friend? A good friend, even? Someone you think, or hope, that you know well. Someone whom you regard with affection and trust. Wouldn't you be deeply disappointed too?

Yeah, it's one of those days.

Perhaps I expect too much from the people I choose to care about. It really sets you up for disappointment, it does. Perhaps that's why I've learnt to build up all those defenses- that suit of armor, that might make me seem cold to strangers.

And it works too. It helps to push people away. Less friends, means less chances of getting hurt by the innate carelessness of others, right?

By the time I got home, I was seething mad and just really frustrated/upset/resigned. Signed in on MSN and Alvin's nick- don't make someone a priority when they only consider you an option, really hit too close to home.

But maybe it is a little harsh and unfair, and selfish even, for me to associate the day's events with Alvin's words, but I'm not exactly in a forgiving or charitable mood.

Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

What ever happened to once bitten, twice shy, girl?

Call it enlightened self-interest or whatever the fuck you want.

Now I just feel like such a bitter fool.